Wednesday, 19 January 2011

an uphill struggle...

dice and twig pencils from Baileys Home & Garden

The day started well, with another order placed through my Etsy shop of my absolute favourite gypsy caravan print, this one going all the way to Australia! Then soon went downhill after a two hour visit to the Drs with the little man, only for him to be diagnosed with tonsillitis! An afternoon on the sofa followed with fever, vomiting and a lot of waking in the night, for the fourth night running (*yawn)

Despite all my good intentions to be more organised this year, already the thank you letters are not written (see Debrett's for a guide to family etiquette ~ I never even knew there was a guide!), there is a hole in my eldest sons shoe, where he has scuffed the rubber off the front of it in the playground and both boys need a haircut! 

I always think I have this 'out-of-control' feeling as I am trying to juggling a part time job (with an immense workload) with appearing to be a 'stay-at-home' mum, well as far as I am always at the school gates to collect the boys. I would rather stay at home, unfortunately we can't afford it, sometimes it all seems like too much of a struggle ~ does anyone else feel like that?

p.s. thank you all for your wonderful comments on this post, i would reply personally but many profiles are private, so sorry about the blanket message. It's lovely to hear so many wise voices through the comments on this blog, I really appreciate it!


  1. I feel like that often. Craziness of life sets in and there are days I want and I NEED to stay home with the kids. But at 6:00 a.m. is the wake up call and 7:30 a.m. at work in my desk chair. The grey cubicle calls me even when kids are sick, the house is in shambles and the laundry is running over.

    But alas, we can't afford it either... for met to stay home.

    And I've only ever picked up my daughter once from preschool. But they have food on the table and a roof over their head. And a mom and dad who love them but, it does feel overwhelming sometimes.

  2. HI Emma, I identify with the feeling of constantly being on the margins of mayhem. We are just about OK if things are running smoothly but if anything upsets the apple cart - illness, broken boiler, heavy workload, things unravel very quickly. We were ill for a week recently and in that time we have lost E's scooter, Z's wellies and I'm still playing catch-up. It's part of life with young children I think!

  3. Hi Emma, you are not alone! I feel I am always on the catch up. Ever since these two have been born. I think 'hey life is good, I am organised, we are happy...' then something hits us (needing new car tyres, chicken pox.. and so on). Things just slide, boys hadn't had their nails cut for so long they looked like claws! Yuk (I have just done them!). We can only do what we can, as long as you are all happy I think is the main thing. Big hugs Lou xx
    p.s congrats on selling a print x

  4. You are only one human being,s o don't beat yourself up. I don't know any mum- be it SAH, full time working or whatever that doesn't feel as though they are chasing their tail, so I honestly would just give yourself a bit of credit for the millions of things you do manage to do every day, whilst being a wonderful mother x

  5. When I got divorced I had no choice but to retrain and go back to work as an English lecturer. I have four children, one at university now. We all get our hair cut at home (my new partner is a carpenter, so I reckoned he was good with his hands and had an eye for detail) - but nothing brings a bigger feeling of dismay than discovering two or more children have developed holes in their shoes (two weeks before Christmas in all the ice and snow). I look back sadly at the days, years ago, when I was able to be a stay at home mum. Sometimes the work load (under the third pay freeze in a row) seems unbearable when combined with the domestic routine - and often I think that I haven't given enough TIME to spend just having fun with my children. And all too soon, they're leaving home. You seem to be trying hard to get the balance right.. good luck and keep with it!

    Boo x

  6. I think whatever we do 'we're dammed if we do, dammed if we don't' I run a business from home so I'm always around to do the school run, but struggle with trying to manage my workload and ensuring my children have friends round, do after school activites etc. I don't think we'll ever get the balance just so!

  7. For a long time I thought I was alone in feeling that as a woman I want to engage in women's work. I want to engage in the domestic activities that my foremothers have engaged in for centuries and centuries before me. I am coming across more and more women who also lament having lost our old skills and place in the home. Feminism was an important movement in getting us seen as equals, as having the same rights as men. But the downside is that it took away our femininity too. We’re expected to take up often masculine roles within the work place, leaving the home and children somewhat abandoned. Why can’t we have our old roles (if we want them) and still be seen as being equal to men? The home is as important as the workplace, if not more so. Why must I feel very un-PC and embarrassed to admit that I want to be a homemaker?
    When women/ wives took up careers it created a society that has more affluent families than before, on account of two wages per household. The economy caught up to this and now living costs demand that every household have two wages. I feel that the system is forcing women to abandon their femininity, which is a terrible and sad thing for everybody.
    It seemed to work pretty well before when men made the money and women kept the home and children organised. The only thing that was missing was the respect and equality we deserved. Now it's gone the other way. Shame.

    You are doing better than a lot of women manage in your engagement with your children and your home. It is inspirational to see a woman managing to hold the home together in the current social situation.
    Homemaking is the most fundamental job there is. We've been homemaking since our species came into being, tens of thousands of years before the concept of economic growth was spawned. The more real home skills you collect, the more resilient you will be.

  8. Hello, Just wanted to chime in (late!) for solidarity, to say, yes! Often feel like that, especially when my 4 year old says he doesn't feel well, and my first thought is 'you can't! My deadline!' (makes me feel v guilty). What really struck me was what you said about working whilst trying to seem like a stay-at-home mum - I work at home so I can pick D up from school, but that doesn't mean that I don't think about him when I'm working and about work when I'm with him...I feel like I'm trying to perform a magic trick of being in two places at once!
    Have been meaning to comment to say how very much I'm enjoying your blog- and amazed how often you post considering all you have on. I love how beautiful your images are, and in this vast blogosphere I enjoy the fact that you don't seem to live a million miles away (looks Stroud Valley-ish to me...) I think you are doing an amazing job of juggling it all, with far less compromise and oven chips than a lot of us...


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